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Meet the Gazz Queen of Las Vegas

gazz queen promo image
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Azura Mojave character concept art
Azura Mojave character concept art with neon lights

The Gazz Queen of Las Vegas

She is a fictional female character (Azura Mojave, the Gazz Queen of Las Vegas) who had her world premiere on August 1, 2023 in an uncensored and kinky satire 18-minute podcast episode. Listen to the episode here:

Branching out beyond the podcast episode, in the works is an emerging Las Vegas theatre play, an entertainment project that is on a mission to show how genuine Las Vegas talents actually live here permanently and they have fascinating stories worth telling.

Visit the Gazz Queen website

Details:
  • This is a female-centric satire spotlighting a character known worldwide as Azura Mojave, the Gazz Queen of Las Vegas—present-day fictional Las Vegas podcast personality who dispenses advice and commentary about human sexuality and behaviors online. This character is an homage to a certain 1980 New York City radio personality with a German accent who gave candid advice on sexual behaviors on the air to her listeners.
  • The whimsical, self-deprecating podcast series is fictional but one episode was released August 1, 2023. The story behind the podcast is brought to life in the theatre production tackling major issues of the present day including the real-world parenting challenges when you have gay children, the nonacceptance and prejudice directed towards men who get costumed as females for drag performances in front of an audience, and the growing national American prejudice against young trans people.
  • An integral part of the intended Las Vegas theatre production is the use of contemporary adaptations of eternally-relevant sentimental romance songs from nearly one hundred years ago featuring music and lyrics by Cole Porter. The songs are intended to be performed live on stage by an all-female house band.
  • The Las Vegas theatrical play script is available for downloading if you visit the Gazz Queen website and register for free.
  • This Las Vegas stage production has a built-in and relevant sponsorship/promotional tie-in opportunity for an adult sex toy business online and/or in retail locations in Nevada such as The Love Store.

Rest in Peace, Craig Hines

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Craig Hines, the most significant of my college era friends, has left this mortal world. What can I say in response? What is fitting or relatable? Let me try to help you remember him through some anecdotes I can share from so long ago.

A 20th-century photograph shows Craig Hines inside the Museum of Broadcasting, Chicago.

He was the first person I knew who managed to escape from that slow little town of San Luis Obispo on the Central California coast and land a professional gig in Hollywood. Craig became a radio personality in the 1970s on fabled Sunset Boulevard. His unforgettable voice and edgy personality were bolstered by his on-air name as “Hurricane Hines” at an FM station with the call letters KIQQ (promoted as K100.) The hurricane blew down doors to let me in and I was hired to work at that Los Angeles radio station with the oddly bright lightning bolts logo when I was only 22 years old.

We both were newcomers to “big city” living. On my very first day of employment in LA radio, we shared a night that stole our innocence. No, it’s not what you’re thinking. I was with Craig the moment I discovered somebody had smashed a window to break into my Volkswagen Beetle parked in a multistory garage adjacent to where the K100 studios and offices were located. We phoned into the nearby Hollywood police station. The young cop who stepped out of the squad car was a vivid stereotype from the television cop shows of that era–youthful vigor, a lot of swagger and muscles. He stared at us both with those cold, blue eyes as he told us he was going to haul us both in and throw us behind bars. Why? The cop said Craig and I were well-known for both having sold ourselves for sex on La Cienega Boulevard–a haven for hustlers and hookers.


A photograph reveals the existence of the would-be Los Angeles sexual hustlers
Woody Goulart and Craig Hines in the 1970s.


In reality, there was one terribly ugly thing I did in Hollywood that should have gotten me arrested: It involved a razor blade and magnetic audio recording tape. One day Craig informed me station management demanded I had to edit Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin before that hit song was allowed on the air on K100. If I wanted to keep my Hollywood radio, I had no choice but to slash away the very guts of Stairway to Heaven—arguably one of the most famous and influential rock and roll songs of all time. Like nobody would notice! My butchery of that wonderful song to cut away the Jimmie Page guitar solo haunts me to this day. It was not Craig’s fault; it was solely my own damn fault. I was not surprised when some seriously bad karma descended upon that radio station, which tanked in the ratings while the gods of rock and roll gleefully danced in another dimension.

Craig was a believer in those other dimensions. In fact, his entire life was devoted to attempts at understanding spirituality. Over many decades Craig and I spent long hours on phone calls and in emails repeatedly debating his many fearless explorations into unseen answers about the meaning of human life that went far beyond mere sensory experiences. I would feel happiest now if Craig will be remembered as a role model for embracing beliefs in powers greater than that of mortals. May you rest in peace, Craig.

What Happens in Vegas…

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Since I live here in Las Vegas, I see this place through the eyes and mind of a local resident–not a visitor. As a local, I accept without holding anything back that Vegas is, if nothing else, a place of business.

Vegas is a place where people attempt to make money selling goods and services to others in ways that few other American cities ever attempt.

Money gets spent on marketing slogans to attract visitors to come here to Vegas so they will spend their money on gambling, transportation, eating, drinking (alcoholic beverages), enjoying legal cannabis, hotel rooms, live music concerts, pro sports events, and so on. Visitors who travel here need not stop to think about this aspect of Vegas as a place of business.

The whole “myth of Las Vegas” (if that’s how you’d like to think of it) springs from one totally comfortable falsehood: Vegas is primarily for being carefree, having fun doing things and experiencing stuff you normally don’t do when you’re back at home.

As social myths go in American culture, the Vegas myth is powerful and literally casts effective spells over mere mortals like you and me. Somehow, or so says the myth, whenever you visit Vegas, doing so instantly gives you free reign to behave however you want to behave (even to excess) without any responsibility to ever think about any consequences whatsoever of what you do here in Vegas.

You know exactly what I’m posting here is true. You know this because you, too, have heard the phrase what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas over the years.

That mindset is, of course, completely irresponsible. But it is also completely understandable.

Few, if any, visitors ever arrive in Vegas and tell themselves, “I am going to be responsible while I am here in Vegas!” And this is directly a result of all that marketing money invested by Vegas business interests to give clear-cut permission to all visitors to “do whatever you want” because everything stays here after you go back home.

Vegas is genuinely a playground for legal-age adults situated within a very large desert and sufficiently distant from most other American cities. The literal isolation Vegas has separating this place from other population centers in the U.S. promotes a sense of insulation for Vegas. When visitors arrive here, they instantly know they’re no longer in Kansas anymore (or wherever they may happen to claim as their home.)

In 2020 an awful thing happened to Vegas. A worldwide respiratory disease which is highly contagious and easy to spread from one to another person was brought here by someone. The coronavirus originated elsewhere (at least we know it was not created here in Vegas) so somebody had to bring it here. And they did.

Vegas suffered severe financial losses (not counting the number of human beings who died from the coronavirus) because since the early 20th century, Vegas has had to depend financially upon visitors who come here willing to spend their money here while visiting.

The worldwide spread of that highly contagious respiratory disease was at complete odds with visitors who would choose to travel to this fun adult playground to enjoy a few carefree days and nights without thinking about any consequences of their personal, public behaviors.

The pandemic changed all that during 2020. That was the year which forced people all around our planet to learn to think about such consequences. And now springtime of 2021 in Vegas heading into the summer months herald a return to the glorious, carefree days and nights when visitors came here to Vegas believing the social and cultural myth that what happens here stays here.

While that pleasant and comforting myth lives on as powerfully as it always has lived, we should know that the unpleasant and not-so-comforting reality is: You and I can still get infected by that airborne respiratory disease in 2021.

You may have done the correct thing and got fully vaccinated. Think of all those people who have not done so. Do you welcome them to Las Vegas in 2021?

While we all want to hear that Vegas businesses are happy making money once again in 2021. Do we want to jeopardize own personal health and the health of our loved ones by welcoming to Vegas unvaccinated visitors just because they are coming here to spend lots of money and help the local Vegas economy?

Think carefully before you answer this impossible question.

Is AARP a Scam?

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I was employed at the national headquarters of AARP in Washington, DC from 1995 through 2006 in their communications and outreach operations. These views and opinions that I express here are mine alone and do not necessarily align with the views and opinions of AARP.

The very short history of how AARP got started is this:

In Los Angeles during the 1950s, the first female high school principal (Ethel Percy Andrus) during her retirement formed an organization (the National Retired Teachers Association) to help make it possible for teachers to buy life insurance by spreading the risk of insurance payouts to a large pool of people.

That risk pool approach generated a lot of revenue from the sales of life insurance to teachers. An affiliated organization known as the American Association of Retired Persons was formed to make possible the sales of life insurance beyond teachers. That is how the abbreviation AARP came to be.

What is AARP today?

Over the decades, AARP became much more than an organization to make possible life insurance sales. Andrus became known as an elder rights activist. She ultimately established AARP in the District of Columbia half-way between the White House and Congress to focus upon lobbying of the executive and legislative branches in elder rights issues. What had once been an insurance sales operation morphed into national advocacy on behalf of the quality of life for elder citizens.

The primary reason why some consider AARP lacks credibility and is therefore deemed to be a “scam” is the simple adherence to partisan politics. While AARP members (people over 50) are said to split more or less equally into three groups—independents, Democrats, and Republicans, the people who manage and work at AARP tend to support federal approaches for elder citizens that typically have been favored and supported by the Democratic Party.

It was Democrat Franklin Roosevelt, the 32nd US president, who signed the federal Social Security program into law back in 1935. From the days of FDR to today, Republicans consistently have opposed Social Security in particular and any federal government support for caring for elder citizens. Republican George W. Bush, the 43rd US president, in 2003 signed into law changes in the federal Medicare program to pay for prescription drugs for elder citizens, which AARP supported. That challenged one traditional partisan political view that only the Democratic Party cares about elder citizens.

If you can free your mind from partisan political filters you will be able to evaluate AARP clearly and accurately.

Your Career Choice Can Ruin You Financially

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Mama’s don’t let your babies grow up to be DJs or journalism majors. Your kids will soon after choosing to be in radio or television or journalism become dead broke and they will come begging for you as parents to let them move back in with you. Stop them before they make a terrible career mistake!

You probably have at least heard of Kiplinger, a publisher located in Washington, DC that provides business forecasts and personal finance advice. Perhaps you’ve read their content online. It is worth noting that this company has survived since 1920. I think Kiplinger deserves your trust and confidence when it comes to forecasting financial issues for you, personally, and for business entities in general.

Here I cite a 2017 Kiplinger analysis entitled “10 Worst Jobs for the Future.”

Kiplinger warns young people at the start of their career to steer clear of the radio and television industries. This comes as number 5 of 12 such warnings worth knowing about.

A projected decline of 10% (ten percent) in available jobs up through the year 2026 is forecast. The median annual salary of $32,283 is cited for radio and television announcers in the Kiplinger analysis.

A far worse fate than suffering through the indignities of that very low salary level you can expect is this Kiplinger explanation as to why you should steer clear of such careers in the first place:

“More radio disc jockeys, talk show hosts and podcasters are under threat of being silenced. Consolidation of radio and television stations, as well as the increased use of syndicated programming, limit the need for these kinds of workers. Plus, streaming music services offer fierce competition to radio stations and their workers. On the upside, online radio stations may provide new opportunities for announcers. If you’re committed to this career track, consider addressing even smaller audiences and becoming a party DJ or emcee. These other types of announcers make up a small field of just 17,326 workers currently, but are expected to grow their ranks 6.0% by 2026. They typically earn slightly less with a median $32,177 a year, but only require a high school diploma to get started.”

Why I’m writing this commentary needs to be explained clearly to you right now: I chose to seek a career on the air in radio back in the year 1970 when I was not yet old enough legally to buy alcohol. More of less four years later I was let go from that amazingly thrilling gig in the Los Angeles radio market, which the second-largest in the United States. My use of my voice lacked sufficient talent for an on-air career in the radio industry in Los Angeles. That stunning E-Ticket ride in Hollywood on Sunset Boulevard was fast, unpredictable, and, entirely too short.

After I was not talented enough to keep a radio job in the Los Angeles market, I tried to work (part time) in the strictly dead-end radui markets in both Eureka, California and Bloomington, Indiana. Working in both of those markets proved to be exceedingly depressing compared to working in the Los Angeles market.

My dear friend Evan Haning wrote in 2011 for the Foreword to my book KHJ, Los Angeles: Boss Radio Forever that the profession has disappeared. That was more than one decade ago.

Evan Haning always was a man ahead of his time. And, Evan Haning is the ONLY person I knew personally who made it on the air in radio over the long stretch. Compared to me only being on the air in Hollywood at some rock and roll station for a very short while, Evan Haning, who had modest beginnings on the air in the dreaded San Luis Obispo, California radio market, made it from a success in the Los Angeles radio to the crucial Washington, DC radio market and he did so within the cut-throat all-news radio business there. He is one of the few living radio heroes I have.

Pay careful attention to my commentary here: It makes sense for you NOT to go after a profession that is already faded from our culture. I urge you NOT to pursue a career in the radio or television industries. I believe what Kiplinger is saying. So, should you.

You may want to go get a bachelor’s degree like I did in Journalism from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. But, do not for one minute believe that being on the air at KCPR radio at Cal Poly actually will prepare you to make a living in a career on the air elsewhere. Read about my own KCPR radio at Cal Poly experiences as a possible guide to what may happen to you if you go that route.

Remember that ANY bachelor’s degree anywhere will do the basic minimum—train you to learn how to use your mind effectively. Just do not expect a financial payback for all the dollars that you or your parents invest in your undergraduate education if you choose a major such as journalism that is declining in job prospects. You will need more than merely a bachelor’s degree. You will need a top-notch graduate degree or two from highly-reputable universities that are expensive and not at all easy to get into.

Ironically, now in the wake of President Donald Trump’s claims about so-called “fake news,” which is, itself, a false claim by Trump that does not stand up to the test of reason, skilled and talented journalists are needed perhaps more than ever before. But, the reality is this: Skills can be taught during an undergraduate or graduate degree program, yes. Getting a bachelor’s degree in journalism won’t give you talent that you don’t already have within you. And seeking a career on the air on radio or television may just ruin you financially even if you go the extra distance to get graduate degrees. You don’t want to beg mommy and daddy to let you move back in with them after you are 30. Mommy will do your laundry. Daddy will curse you under his breath while he gets loaded on adult beverages at the dinner table. And, while your rent will be free, you will end up not being able to look yourself in the mirror for the rest of your life.

These are my opinions. Your mileage may vary.

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